Train track of thoughts

The Universe Guides, The Hands Form

21:41 2026-03-22

Late night thoughts prevail the human condition as a bastion for hope. Better days seem so near under the scintillating starry skies.

On this night, I shall hopefully write down what is truly human. What brings me to the conclusion of my thoughts is an unnerving sense of finality in how the universe operates.

The one thing we can all share is a space,, past, present, or future,, in the universe. Another is the finality of the universe. In which, everything,, every thing,, at all, races to nothing at alarming speed.

Has is crossed your mind that upon verifiable laws of the universe, one day, the last joule, the last spike in the very fabric of construction shall meet its end?

Futility is a sense of dread foremost, that nothing matters. Nothing will ever be stained upon the universe for all eternity. As such things move, they bring forward change wanted or not.

Things evolve in our time, they change slightly at our scale and in the grand scheme of things, they change not in our time-frame. We'd like to think ourselves as important, that moments, vile and momentous has meaning.

Yet, the cosmos has no intention towards us, we are futile to the way of things. The belief that the universe is somehow pure chance, that it arises from absolute arbitration is a clever notion.

An unprovable notion, I propose. Considering how organization happens at our scale, I justify it by claiming that the universe has unbreakable rules we all follow, at any size.

You cannot simply break the rules set, they cannot be. At every scale we can compromise on a set of conditions, rules per say upon how interactions are considered. Atomic scale and structure reveal an impossibility for electromagnetic barbary. The atom fits like any other. They obey the rules set and have no choice to. The same can be said to the human scale with Newtonian mechanics. Granted hard to picture that we have no agency upon our actions, a simple gesture to prove it not the case is self-affirming. Be wary however, as knowing that you really don't have a choice to do what you do is a frightening conclusion to behold. A proof of concept would go along the lines of choosing to throw a ball, bare handed, at the speed of light. Self evident why impossibilities are set upon that proof, you clammer to a simple gesture, be it raising you hand, clicking your tongue or any other means to abstain from paranoia.

I am conscious am I not? I think therefor I am right? No.

In fact consciousness is not a weird side product of evolution, nor is it a god given gift to guide the world. You have stumbled your way down the trail of life because the universe allowed it. You stand upon an earth made for you because you arose from it. The world makes sense because you come from it. There is no greater paranoia than knowledge that you have no agency, you choose not to do things for your own sake.

As a whole, the universe has set laws and you are bound to them by existence. Your hands are a tool for the universe to interact upon our scale, to create order, entropy as it may be so called.

You cannot simply break them, no matter how you try.

Therein lies the call to; The Universe Guides, The Hands Form.

I do not choose to write these sentences at 22:14 2026-03-22, yet here I am. I am. I am.



It seems obvious to me, does it to you?



My life has been forced into a path, before my very existence, and I shall go down it, not by choice.



But we are not futile, we serve the Universe in a multitude of ways, as the stars serve us to navigate.



I end this text, hoping greater days come near. We do not shape the world, we do not move the solar system and we do not bind our atoms.



The Universe Guides, The Hands Forms

22:19 2026-03-22

Train track of thoughts

The Universe Guides, The Hands Forms



Our world, " The Universe" as we call it, doesn't seem to lend itself to much scrutiny. From top to bottom, small to big, known to unknown, everything falls into place in a way that would leave any of its observers with the minimalistic sensation of being a cog in a wonderful machine. The human race is, up to this moment, the only known complex system looking towards the stars hoping to find a reason for its ability to see, think, feel and hear the great universal symphony. What we call "being" not only represents an unquestionable and indescribable notion of action and reaction, it also describes an importantly selfish concept known as the "self" or a "self". Weirdly enough, it is only recently that humans tried to define this condition on an individual basis. When humanity looked upon the glorious night sky they couldn't fathom such order without a higher power at play and thus their quest for explanations began. Many of these theories involve one or more gods which coincidentally possessed human characteristics, using their absolute power to do whatever they wanted. The most common religions in the world, abrahamic in nature, offer a seemingly complete story to humanity's quest, yet it doesn't demonstrate much originality in its elaboration. A being who can't be seen, can't be proven to exist and who holds unquestionable authority over the universe cannot be disproven easily and removes the need to think critically about the terrifying, painful concept of existence. God, Yaweh, Allah or whatever name is attributed to it denotes an exceptionally childish take on the humans' story and would likely fail a creative writing assignment. Whether he exists or not isn't up to a single individual to say, especially without proof, but it is up to a single individual to contemplate. On a purely subjective stance, ancient Greek religious beliefs and stories are far more intriguing to read as they are written like a play, giving even gods motives and personalities. Religion, on its own, does very few wrongs in regards of intellectual or physical development. However, its beliefs and the logical path used to obtain answers to those beliefs let logically underdeveloped people justify actions by hindering their will to learn more about the situation. Even worse is the dishonest pseudo-religious who vehemently praise but do not practice, who force others upon social foundations made from convictions they either can't reasonably break or ones they break constantly. In addition to the hypocritical segment of believers, some believers completely fabricate an ideological pillar which didn't exist in the teachings, perpetuating their under-development on others. Ideological pillars generated by the religious and even religion itself have had a lasting impact on how we act simply because very few have succeeded in tearing down irrational ideas and even fewer lived to tell the tale. The very first concept explored by religion would be the human experience. Questions such as "Why are we here?", "What created the universe?" and "What happens when we die?" constitute the basics of a belief system and they provide a safe haven for those unwilling to devote energy towards finding a different answer. The problem with establishing an absolute in existential questions can be seen through the actions taken by those who received the absolute.

The Universe Guides, The Hands Forms

Train track of thoughts

The Universe Guides, The Hands Forms

2024-08-16

As I sit here all alone, a dreary night of solitude, I notice how much she means to me.

A single day, where I come home to an empty apartment full of mementos of our experiences together. She is only gone for a single day, yet unlike all the time I spend with her, I recognize what the pain of a life without her would taste like. Left to my own devices, I desperately find this outlet to express in some sense how she makes me feel. There is nothing in this world more precious than the one you hold dear, they alleviate the situations presented to you. Just by her companionship I have crafted my routines to better accommodate the different lifestyle from a formerly unknown life brought to my attention. It is so easy to think that one’s life is universal, that such experiences must be commonplace, that everyone lives the same. It is only faced with a peculiar observation that some may realize that experiences are deeply individual. I like to think that everything I do has some sense to it, that it is already calculated. But, it is only now that I’ve come to the conclusion that I think very little about my day-to-day actions, I am somewhat left to the devices of the universe by the pure brashness of my impulses. And she corrects me when my impulse drives to insanity, changing how I would approach a situation to better fit the circumstances. She helps me feel a sense of calm that isn’t matched by any memories I live in to pass the day. The dread of having to serve customers who, in their own way, have different lives and so have wildly unfamiliar methods of acting around others is only bearable when I come home to her. She is the reason why I carry on, continue this parade to the outside. One by one, as I am told the ways she enjoys, I try to accommodate the best I can. Though frustrating at times, it fades away quickly. The wheels start turning and soon I see my mistakes. I’ve always been able to control my expression to a moderate extent which seems unreachable by most. I’ve felt the difference between expressions and feelings and I have learnt to control the vast majority of my outward actions when I am susceptible to feel. She asked me once, how I manage to control it so well, my anger, sadness. It is hard to explain, as reactions are never truly internalized. The poker face as some like to call it seems to be a first step, quiet catharsis in the mind, while portraying nothing while my feelings process. However, at times, simply being silent and appearing emotionless is not sufficient. Every so often you want to express something bubbling up and there is no amount of thoughts that can expunge the powerful emotions without some sort of action to finally liberate yourself from the grasps of the emotive state. The powerful emotions are different from person to person and as I sit here writing my unending thoughts, a few come to mind. Love, despair, loneliness, wrath, sadness and a couple more I won’t bother to name. For love, the bubbling will never cease, seeing her face everyday when I come back to work washes the worries away and I feel as though the comfort of her arms rejuvenate my soul. She pushes all the right buttons and knows them well. I hope that I do the same for her. Love is not an emotion I can control, rather one that I embrace. The silliness of being true to your reactions, letting go of that poker face to find reprieve and solace in the arms that hold you at night. There is nothing quite like the feeling of being loved and to love all at once. Seeing things that remind me of her, my memories of her begin to scroll and I find confidence in what I do. A sense of empowerment unmatched by anything I have ever felt. And in reminding me of her, I sometimes feel a fear, one that riddles my over-conscientious and ADHD filled brain. The thought that I would be a stranger in her future, that our life together would be nothing more than a passing thought, a vague memory of the past. I feel an intense sense of despair in such a situation. I would gift her the sky if it meant we would spend an eternity together. I truly do not want to fathom a life where our spirits are split by the vast expanse. As I have left people in the dust in my past, old forgotten shells in my memory, unable to remember their faces, I would not want such a fate for us. As I end the day, in the darkness of the night, true and utter silence humming in my ears, I leave another me to continue on the legacy of writing down my thoughts when things get too difficult in the outside world.

The Universe Guides, The Hands Forms